April 25 Cross-outs

Picking up where we left off in writing new poems we came back to the idea of working from existing texts. I brought in Jen Bervin's net 97 (a cross-out of Shakespeare's Sonnet 97). We discussed how Bervin may have made poetic choices in deciding which words she selects for her new poem. We did some examples on the board where together the students chose which words we would cross out and which we would leave. I then gave the students various poems from William Blake's Songs of Experience and Songs of Innocence and they created new original poems by crossing out parts of Blake's. Despite working with the same poems, the students all came up with very different work themselves. Here's a sampling of what they did:

Ms. Mays

Burning Bright
by Daisy M.

1.
Burning bright
Of the night
What immortal hand or eye

2.
What distant deeps or skies
Burnt the fire of thine
What wings dare he aspire
The hand dare seize the fire.


Such a Flower
by Brenda B.

Such a flower
I’ve a pretty rose tree
I passed the sweet flower o’er

I went to my pretty rose
tree turned away with
jealousy, her thorns were
my only delight


The Rhyming Fly
by Ruby T.

Thy summer’s play
Has brushed away
A fly like thee?
A man like me?
Shall brush my wing.


Untitled
by Yahaira C.

Weary of time
the step of the
sun
sweet golden clime
journey is done

away with desire
shrouded in snow
from their graves
sunflower wishes
to go!


Mr. Stasiak

The Sick Rose
by Andrea M.

Rose that flies in the night
Has found out thy bed and
his dark secret love.

The Sun’s Journey to My Wishes
by Maria U.

Time of the sun that sweet golden
journey is done. Arise where my
wishes go.

Thee Sick Rose
by Oscar C.

O Rose, sick! invisible worm that flies in the
howling storm, Has found out crimson Joy
for a place to stay, shall not leave place
for its crimson Joy Shall enjoy it, O Rose get
better soon, Also if dark secret of love will
destroy its life, Before soon the rose holds its
peace.


Ms. Jaurigue

The Sick Roseby Dievies R.

O Rose
invisible
in the night
storm

has found
his dark secret.

Sunflower
by Maria B.

Sunflower weary of time
Seeking after the sweet golden clime
where the travelers journey is done;
Arise from their graves and aspire
where my sunflower wishes to go!

Sunflower!
by Miriam H.

Sunflower weary of time
The steps of the sun,
After that sweet golden clime
The travelers journey is done

The youth pined away,
The pale virgin in snow,
Where my sunflower wishes
to go!

The Fly
by Leticia R.

Little Fly,
plays
thoughtless
brushed away.

Am not I
A fly
not
A man like me?

I dance
drink and sing,
some
brush my wing.

Thought is
strength
want
of thought is death;
Am I a happy fly,
If I live,
Or if I die.


The Rose
by Elizabeth R.

O Rose, thou art sick!
Invisible night howling,
crimson joy, dark secret
destroyed